Mecca, 22, (U.S east coast). Welcome to my personal blog! I post things related to anthropology, film, Afros, philosophy, peace studies, culture, music, nature,space, science and all things humans do that I think are awesome on this here planet earth!
I am more than: my relationship status. My job. My age. My sexuality. My degree or lack of. My last name. My appearance. My gender. My sex. My short comings.
I am: rusted thoughts. A bloody tongue. Every city I have breathed in. Every bedroom I have loved in. Piles of words. Twisted metaphors. My thoughts. My actions. My dreams.
And I am not looking to be loved. I am looking to be seen.
The truth is that a lot of us (and this includes Black women) mistakenly think we love Black women.
We think we love Black women because we enjoy some Black women aesthetically. Or because we like Strong Black Women around us who don’t remember that they are human and deserving of love and instead pour all of their love into us. We want the “you is kind, you is smart” routine and expect it.
We looooove body parts: the Saartjie Baartman ass. We like the “ebony” section in pornography. We love mammies. We are fascinated by Jezebels and use their image as the blueprint for “deviant” sexuality (see Miley Cyrus). We love the Queens and the sistas which of course means that we hate the thot’s and the hos.
But we think we love Black women.
We love the Black women who fall in love with men, get married, and have kids (in that order). We love the Black women who have degrees but ain’t too independent. We love the “she got her own” Black women as long as they don’t emasculate the man.
And we love the Black woman who is behind us. We are wary of the ones beside us. And we hate the ones ahead of us. Because there’s only room for ONE successful Black woman.
We think we love Black women because there’s a few who we think are good role models. And we spend the rest of our time explaining why the rest of the Black women are not. We think we love Black women because we hate twerking. Because we hate slang. Because we hate Real Wives and Scandal. Because we give “tough love” and quote Steve Harvey and Tyrese.
We think we love Black women. But we don’t know the first thing about love. We are still buried in white supremacy and patriarchy.
We don’t know how to escape and we’re not even sure that we want to. Because we don’t know if we have the spirit and the energy to truly love Black womanhood in its multi-faceted and complete nature. We believe in tokenism: there’s room in our hearts to love a few.
But that’s not true. It is easier and freer to love without contingency. It is the beginning of a powerful self-love which would translate into genuine political and social power.
Literally brought tears to my eyes. I feel that so deeply. 😌(via msdeonb)
Jonathan, 55: There is no such thing as “the only one”. You will meet lots of “the ones”. Only commit when the timing is right for the both of you – that can take years for some, and that’s okay.
Miranda, 24: Drop pre-med.
Isaac, 48: Deodorant does not count as a shower, and that haircut only looked good on Bon Jovi.
Anya, 42: Make the conscious decision to be happy, and then stick with it. Society will do everything in its power to convince you that your personal happiness is dependent on something external – beauty, success, wealth, etc. – it isn’t.
Parker, 55: 60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50. The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it.
Megan, 34: He doesn’t love you, and you will be okay.
Peter, 58: Don’t let anything stand in your way of taking part (or all) of your junior year abroad. You’ll never again have quite the same opportunity to experience a foreign land, for an extended period of time, in your youth. It is destined to be one of the most memorable aspects of your life.
Eleanor, 67: Talk less. Listen more.
Donald, 27: There’s a huge difference between who you want to be and who everyone around you wants you to be. Figure out which is which.
Camille, 56: Always remember: when falling off a horse, pull your tongue in.
Jackson, 57: No one knows anything for sure. They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you.
Vicki, 47: You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count.
Donald, 38: You don’t have to grow up to be the dad you never had.
Katelyn, 30: Make the most out of college. You will never again be at a place where your only goal is to learn. Learn a lot, learn often, and learn with reckless abandon.
Joshua, 55: Women love to laugh.
Annabelle, 38: Drugs are not beautiful, glamorous or opulent. They are not a remedy, a solution, a cure-all, or a cure-anything.
Colin, 50: You miss so much life when you sleep until 3 PM. Wake up to see sunrises; they are the most stunning of nature’s masterpieces.
Eleanor, 26: Eating two pints of ice cream won’t make you happy. Neither will sprinting 10 miles. Be nice to yourself.
Aaron, 52: Don’t forget to ask that girl in the Oberlin library what kind of perfume she’s wearing. You’ll buy it for her in 20 years.
Scarlett, 54: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Those that get you will love you, those that don’t, well, their loss. Just remember: Wherever you are, it’s a party.
Zack, 9: I hope you’re awesome. And be nice to girls.